


Shell Shocked

by seanced



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt/Comfort, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, Veteran Klaus, Vietnam, Vietnam War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 07:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18441533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seanced/pseuds/seanced
Summary: The Vietnam War has not been kind to Klaus Hargreeves.





	Shell Shocked

Klaus Hargreeves found himself in the middle of the usual, bustling city setting he knew well. The streets, with their unique scent of coffee, gasoline, and cigarette smoke, were his home. They held hurried people, rushing to leave a crowd. Klaus didn’t mind crowds themselves — he was quite a social man — it was the feeling of being trapped in one that annoyed him. This particular crowd was chatting amongst themselves as their words became background noise. 

Klaus couldn’t help but stare off into space as he made his way across the city, reading signs planted in patches of grass next to the sidewalk. One bright, flashy sign in particular caught his eye. He could see it clear even against the dimly lit night sky. This shiny plastic sign stood up to his knee, held up by two thinly constructed metal poles. A quick glance to his right made Klaus realize there were more signs just like it. The signs advertised a fireworks show at a nearby park. Klaus sighed in disappointment, as it took him a moment to realize that was where the crowd was headed.

He thought nothing of the situation, and continued to make his way across the sidewalk. Klaus placed his hands, as deep as they could go, in the pockets of his forest green jacket. That jacket was the only thing left from his time serving in the Vietnam War. Though it was a grim reminder of what he had been through, he kept it close to him and always wore it no matter what.

Another jarring reminder of his time in Vietnam was his post-traumatic stress disorder. His experience as a soldier left him with emotional scars and deeply affected his daily life. His form of PTSD was a textbook case; loud noises made him jump, intrusive thoughts sent him into paranoia, and flashbacks plagued his night terrors. The flashbacks were especially troubling, as he would have to pretend in front of others, especially his siblings, that everything was normal. He knew what triggered him, and tried desperately to avoid said triggers, but he knew for a fact that it was impossible to isolate himself completely.

The crowd walked faster. This was the point when Klaus diverged in the other direction, finally free from their trap. He breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing his grip on the pockets of his jacket.

Klaus ducked, suddenly and quickly. He came to terms with the realization that the fireworks had already started. The sudden rush of adrenaline shocked him as it caused his mind to travel back to Vietnam. Klaus could vaguely hear the crowd scream with delight while his heartbeat sped up. The sound of the fireworks faded into gunshots, and Klaus’s surroundings morphed hazily into the gloomy A Shau Valley. His throat clenched as the fireworks continued, and his breath grew heavier. His knees shook too intensely for him to run away, so all he could do was stumble in the middle of the sidewalk.

Klaus was too stricken by this episode to notice that he received some concerned looks from people passing by. He moved towards a nearby brick wall, disoriented and shaking, and curled up in front of it. Tears welled up in his eyes, and the sensation of them traveling down his cheeks caused him to cry even more. His episodes had never been this public before, making the experience all the more harrowing for him.

Klaus looked down at his quivering hands, seemingly covered in blood. He saw the blood of his fellow soldiers still on his hands; the way it seemed to stain them felt so, so real.

Then, he saw Dave.

Dave’s body laid helplessly in the distance, his motionless hand slipping off his chest just as it had in Vietnam. His hand uncovered a gruesome, revealing bullet wound, soaking that area of his clothing with blood. The combination of the adrenaline with Klaus’s heart beating violently mimicked the experience of witnessing Dave die for the first time. Fireworks continued to sound off in the background, presenting themselves to Klaus as the gunfire that had killed his lover. Klaus crawled to the sight of Dave’s body. He knelt over Dave, caressing his bloodstained cheek. Klaus tried to speak, but could only stutter “Dave,” before his crying masked out the rest.

Someone else was yelling with him now.

Klaus heard someone else call out what sounded like Dave’s name multiple times. He covered his ears and shut his eyes tightly so the only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat. Suddenly, the person placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey!”

Terrified, Klaus turned and faced the stranger. Through his tears Klaus could see that he was a young man in a bright yellow T-shirt, with worried look on his face. Klaus’s heartbeat pounded heavily at the new feeling of throbbing unfamiliarity. He looked back at where he saw the flashback of Dave, which was now gone. The blood and the A Shau Valley had disappeared with it. He was still on the sidewalk. Klaus clutched his chest and began to tear up again. This gave the man the wrong idea.

“Oh, God,” Klaus heard him mutter to himself. The man pulled out his phone as quickly as he could, dialing emergency services. Klaus tried to regulate his breathing, but it only came out in short, intense huffs. He could barely hear what the man was saying over his own hyperventilation. The man knelt down in front of Klaus and repeatedly told him to breathe. Klaus gasped for air as he heard the sound of the fireworks grow clearer, his mind becoming increasingly more able to bear it as the moments passed. The gunshots faded out of mind as well, comforting Klaus just a bit.

Klaus sat upright and tried to relax. He breathed heavily, feeling grateful the man noticed him. His heart still raced as the adrenaline pumped throughout his body. He began to feel exhausted, and a sensation of disorient fell over him. Tears streamed down his face, albeit less frequently than before. Klaus lost track of time at this point. His body was now out of energy, his mind paying no regard for where he had to be before the panic attack.

He grew more accustomed to his surroundings, taking in the fact that he was long separated from the A Shau Valley. Nothing was really there to threaten his safety anymore. He still, however, flinched at the sound of each firework exploding, and his hands and knees still trembled. What felt like hours passed in the few minutes spent waiting for the ambulance the stranger had sent for Klaus. Through those minutes, the shaking in his body began to fade and his heartbeat gradually slowed down. The only trace of the experience left was the blind exhaustion in Klaus’s body.

“Can you walk on your own?” the man asked him quietly.

Klaus didn’t even notice that the ambulance, sirens whining and lights flashing, had arrived. He nodded, slowly rising from his compressed position. His limbs very slightly tingled with numbness from sitting so long. Klaus stepped up carefully to a seat in the back of the ambulance, before softly saying “thanks” to the stranger as the doors closed.


End file.
